"ALL THAT PLANNING STUFF"

Birthday Parties should be fun for everybody.
Whether it's a small group for cake and ice cream or a house full for the afternoon,
you want to be able to enjoy the day with your child and your guests.
It takes a little bit of planning, but it's well worth it to make it a special day for everyone.
We've put together a guide to help you get started,
and hopefully take some of the stress out of the planning for you.

Getting Organized
Planning with Your Child
Size and Length of Party
Bits and Pieces of Stuff
Expect the Unexpected

GETTING ORGANIZED
4 - 6 weeks ahead
-Decide, with the party person, what the theme of the party will be. Keep in mind that this is not an easy decision for a young child to make. It's pretty important stuff to them. Spend some time helping them to decide, but keep the choices to three or four - too many might overwhelm.
-Make out your list of party guests. You might want to stick this up somewhere so that you can add to it as you think of people you've forgotten.
-Outline the types of party activities - games, crafts, etc. - that you hope to include.
-Make lists - decorations to buy, decorations to make, party favours, game prizes, menu - and refer to them often.
- If you're ordering party supplies, leave lots of time for shipping.

2 - 3 weeks ahead
-Write out your invitations and hand-deliver or mail them. Let your child help with as much as they are capable of doing. Pre-schoolers love to decorate envelopes with pictures and stickers, and would feel very responsible having that "job" to do.
-Shop for party supplies and decorations.
-Start on decorations that will be hand-made. Might be a good idea to put these out of sight once they're finished, or you may find yourself doing them over again before the party.
-Order the birthday cake if you are going to have it made for you.

1 week ahead
-Finish up any decorations or favours that are to be made at home.
-Check on your party supplies to make sure that you have everything that you need.
-Prepare any food that can be made ahead and frozen, including the cake.
-Go over your party activity list again, and make sure that you have all of the necessary equipment if any.

2 - 3 days before
-Do your final grocery shop, and don't forget film, video tape, and batteries.
-Confirm the number of guests.
-Don't worry so much about cleaning the house. Your guests will remember what a good time they had, not the dust.

The day before
-Finish decorating or pick up the cake.
-Double-check the area of the house or yard to be used for the party. Make sure that it's "party-safe". Put away your favourite crystal and plants that might get tipped, and remove any furniture necessary to make room.
-Put up the indoor decorations.
-Do any food preparation that can be done ahead.

Party Time
-Finish all of the food preparation.
-Put up the outside decorations.
-Mark the designated party area, inside or out, with decorations or signs.
-Keep your party activities and menu lists handy, and refer to them occasionally. Many salads and baskets full of buns have been forgotten in the kitchen until it's time for dessert.
-Finally, relax, and enjoy the party with your child!

PLANNING WITH YOUR CHILD
Theme
-Once a theme has been decided, and decorations purchased or ordered, help your young child to understand that it can't be changed. If that seems difficult for them, let them see the decorations once you have them. They will probably be excited and look forward to using them.

Food
-Decide what the menu will be - just dessert, lunch and dessert, or a full course meal - and then have the birthday child choose some of the foods to be served. You may get some strange requests here, so it might be a good idea to ask your child to suggest several different ones for you to choose from. Or the reverse, you could make the list, and the birthday child chooses.

Games
There are some guidelines to make a note of to keep the fun happening, and the tears to a minimum.
-Be sure that any games or activities are age-appropriate. Two's and Three's probably won't have the attention span to play organized games, but they love to do duck ponds, fish ponds, bean bag toss, and bowling. By the age of four and five, most kids have started playing more organized games at pre-school and kindergarten. Try to keep them simple, without a lot of rules. If you have a large group, with a wide range of ages, you may do best to run a couple sets of activities for the younger and older ones. Or form teams, with little kids and big kids on each team.
-Try to avoid games where someone becomes eliminated, like "Simon Says" and "Musical Chairs", especially with young children who are likely to be upset about being "out".
-Try also to avoid competitive games, where there's a winner, at least until the kids are older, and then only if that's what they want. "Team" competitions work well if you really want the games to be competitive.
-Games can be played just for the fun of playing. Don't feel that prizes must be awarded.
-If you're choosing teams, don't let the children pick the team members. Draw the names out of a hat, or "count off".

BE REALISTIC ABOUT SIZE AND LENGTH OF PARTY
-Small children can be overwhelmed by large numbers of people, for long periods of time. Under the age of six, a good rule of thumb is to keep the number of guests equal to the age of your child, particularily for an at-home indoor party. If you're in the backyard, going to the park or to the beach, you could probably add to those numbers.
-Children over six can usually do well with as many as 10 - 12 guests if you're into it.
-If you're having a large group like the class or the whole scout troop, don't leave anybody out. Feelings will be hurt!
-Don't hesitate to ask friends or relatives to help out. You just can't run games, make hot dogs and take pictures all at the same time.
-Have a schedule, but make it flexible. If something isn't working, go to "Plan B".
-Try to schedule the busiest activities for early in the party, to be followed by refreshments, cake and gift opening.

BITS AND PIECES OF STUFF
-Create a "table" for young children out of a door or sheet of plywood on top of boxes, crates or end tables. Make sure that it isn't tippy. It's also a good idea to staple or tape your party tablecover up under the table so that little legs don't get tangled up climbing in and out.
-If you cover your paper party tablecover with some clear poly or a plastic cover, you can use your "door table" for crafts, and remove or wipe up the plastic before serving refreshments.
-If spills and messes are going to be too nerve-wrecking for you, keep the party outdoors if possible, or restricted to an area of the house where accidents are less likely to upset you.
-"Party-proof" before your guests arrive....
....put pets in a safe place away from the party
....remove anything breakable or dangerous
....make sure that guests know which areas are restricted
....do a safety check outdoors as well - barbeques, garden chemicals and tools, pets, pools, playground equipment.
-Be extremely careful with the balloons. Keep inflated ones up out of reach of young children, and discard any broken or deflated ones. (Just ask someone who works in an ER how quickly a child can be suffocated by a balloon.)
-If you are giving treat bags, hand them out as guests are leaving. Chaos is almost guaranteed if they are given out during the party.
-Consider giving each guest a small "thank you" gift instead of treat bags. It would probably be much less expensive, isn't full of sugar, and the birthday child could be in charge of wrapping and decorating each one (or at least helping).

EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED
The Problem Child
-Pre-schoolers, in particular, become over-excited easily, and may act up as a result of the stimulation. Try to keep them actively involved in crafts or games, or give them special "jobs" to help out with. An older child who may be creating a problem can be taken aside and told politely that misbehaviour will not be tolerated. Try to avoid a public confrontation if at all possible.
-If your party was scheduled at a meal time, don't wait too long to serve the food. Hungry kids will act out more quickly than if they are well fed. Even though it's a topic of some controversy these days, try to keep the sugar-loaded foods to a minimum.

The Shy Child
-Encourage, but don't force a child who is shy to take part.
-Give them something else to do, or a special place from where they can watch.
-A child who holds back or doesn't join in isn't necessarily not having a good time.

The Birthday Child
-Most children become very excited at birthday time - some even for weeks before the "Big Day". Many imagine what their party will be like, especially very young children, and feel let down or disappointed when it doesn't turn out the way they expected. They could even spend the whole day in tears, or worse, in their bedroom. Be patient, and try these guidelines....
....on this special day, indulge your child - let him/her go first in all of the games, serve his/her meal first, and be sure that he/she gets the first piece of cake.
....don't become so involved with guests that you don't leave plenty of time to spend with your child.
....give older brothers and sisters jobs to help out with, and be sure that you're not giving them more attention than your birthday child.
....don't insist that your child share his/her bedroom and toys with guests today. Put the toys away and make the bedroom off limits if it would be less upsetting.

And no matter how busy or chaotic the day gets, have fun with your child,
and be anxiously looking forward to doing it again next year!

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